Below is a step by step account ofeverything she feels, thinks, wonders and wants when she‘s making love to you. It’ll show you what you can do to help her enjoy the sexual experience, and in so doing enhance your own pleasure. And finally, it will uncover the essential truth—that a woman’s journey during sex is really nothing like a man’s.

Below is a step by step account of everything she feels, thinks, wonders and wants when she‘s making love to you. It’ll show you what you can do to help her enjoy the sexual experience, and in so doing enhance your own pleasure. And finally, it will uncover the essential truth—that a woman’s journey during sex is really nothing like a man’s.

STEP 1: THE MOOD

What puts a woman in the mood for sex? A factor no man should under emphasize is that making love is as much an emotional event for a woman as it is physical one. And a big component of that is simply feeling good about her and your relationship. If life is too hectic lately. Eg. She is breast feeding, or if she’s feeling bloated, fat or unattractive, sex may not enthuse her.

While that may sound a little discouraging, there are a number of things you can do to help put your partner in the mood for love. One: Concentrate as hard on the friendship part of your relationship as you do on the physical part. If you are intimate in conversation, you can bet she’ll be intimate in bed. In one survey, women who felt especially close to their mates reported having excellent sex lives—no matter how the felt about their own bodies.

Two: Constantly tell her how great she looks. Compliment. Give her a lustful look. Whisper your wicked desires into her ears. Get her to buy the idea that she’s lust worthy, and she will aim to prove to you.

STEP 2: THE AROUSAL

If you have succeeded in getting her in the mood, she’ll now want to see some action to kick start her libido, probably exhibit a strong desire to be kissed—and kissed well.

You probably already know that as woman’s lips, tongue and mouth are some of the most erogenous zones of her body. Stimulating them properly can actually arouse her down below. But kissing is also a way of communicating. Well-timed, well-executed lips lock helps give a woman the emotional closeness she’s looking for.

But what’s the right way to kiss her? First of all, take your time, if you pay attention to kissing well instead of rushing passionately on (hint don’t just stick your tongue down her throat; nibble, chew, lick her lips), you will be at second base before you know it. Vary the pressure, the duration, the location of your lips and keep your hands busy-grab her hair, her bottom.

Now you may be focusing on her lips, but it is only a matter of moments before her whole body will react. Her breathing, heart rate and blood pressure will begin to increase, her nipples will become erect and her areolae will swell. Within 15 to 20 seconds of arousal, her vagina will start to moisten. May be most important, she will start to feel turned on all over her body.

The sensitivity of a woman’s entire body cannot be overemphasized. While the key to man’s sexual pleasure lies between his legs, women are less focused on the genitals and more aware of other parts of their bodies. The late sex researcher Alfred Kinsey found some women who were capable of reaching orgasm simply by having their eyebrows stroked, their earlobes kissed or some pressure applied to their teeth.

What does this mean for you? Well, if you have already struck the usual erogenous zones like the breasts, invent some new ones. The unexpected sensation is what you are after her, and you just might ambush her into orgasm.

One warning at this stage: While it is true that direct stimulation of the clitoris—the little pink pea above the woman’s vagina—is the key to most women’s climaxing, do not pounce too quickly. As a woman becomes more and more aroused, the clitoris will swell, producing a sort of erection. But her erection takes longer than yours does to develop, and any direct contact before that point can be painful.

STEP 3: THE GATHERING MOMENTUM : How to give oral sex to a woman

By now her skin will be flushed, her eye wide and pupils dilated. But there are other signs of sexual readiness. Like SWELLING BREASTS. You already know that an erect nipple is good sign, but according to pioneering sex researchers Masters and Johnson, a woman’s entire breast can swell as much as 25 percent during arousal. In addition, her areolas will darken.

SWOLLEN LABIA . When a woman becomes very aroused, her vaginal lips (labia) swell slightly and begin to move away from the usual position covering the opening of the vagina.

Once you have noticed these signs, it’s time to stimulate her down there, either with your hands or your lips.

All women have different preferences during oral sex, so the best advice is to experiment: use both sides your tongue, for example, or let your tongue go soft in such a way that you’d slue your words if you work, ask her to provide a play-by-play of what she’s feeling.

There’s one problem with oral sex, however. No matter what’s going on in a woman’s body, in her head she might be feeling insecure about how she smells or taste down there. A simple reassurance from you that the neighborhoods is fine—“You taste so good”—should nip that in the bud, as it were. Many women are also turned off by the taste of their own vaginal juices, so don’t rush to kiss her immediately afterward.

Generally speaking, the happy recipient of oral sex is willing to reciprocate for her man. The operative word is ‘generally’ because the act itself is not physically sensational for a woman. Her lips can dry out quickly and chafe, she may gag: also your nether region may not recall a bed or roses. (A quick shower before sex does wonders).

Give her verbal reinforcement, kind words, feedback to keep her going. Most important, be a gentleman: This act needs to be her idea and her pleasure. No coercion, no pushing.

With this in mind, oral sex can actually be a major turn-on for your partner.

STEP 4: THE PLUNGE

This is what you have been waiting for.

The moment of penetration can be physically pleasant for a woman, but alas, the sensation does not last long. After a couple of minutes, the initial thrill of bring entered wears off and penetration turns into intercourse. Because the clitoris is not normally stimulated during missionary-position sex, and because there are few nerve ending in the rear two thirds of the vagina, most women don’t get much pleasure from this physically, especially if you pump away mindlessly.

What to do about it? Kissing or breast touching can help, but the best solution may be to try a different position. Woman-on-top is classic for letting her grind to orgasm, but side by side or rear-entry sex, both of which allow her to stimulate herself while you are inside her, are also effective.

Yet another option: Pay attention to your own thrusting technique. In their book The Multi-Orgasmic Man, authors Mantak Chia and Douglas Arava suggest and ancient Oriental pattern of nine shallow thrusts followed by one deep one. Try it, it might just work, especially given the fact that the majority of a woman’s nerve endings are in the front of the vagina.

Lastly, do not let the act of intercourse go on for too long: your partner will simply get tired and her mind will start to wander. And that’s last effect you want to create.

STEP 5: THE VERGE

All is going according to plan; she is on the verge of orgasm.

What does it feel like for her? For a woman, the pre-orgasm sensation is otherworldly, ethereal. (No wonder it is often called peaking.)

But just because a woman reaches the edge does not mean she’s going to have an orgasm. Unlike men, women do not experience the unrelenting, inevitable line drive towards orgasm. It is more of a roundabout path. She may get close, then backslide, even have to fantasize to push herself over the edge.

If your partner does not have an orgasm, the reason might be purely physical, or it might be that she is feeling too much pressure (from you) to have one.

To avoid that, feel free to focus on your own pleasure, but make sure she knows how good it feels to be inside her. Getting her thinking about you will stop her thinking about herself, and that might be all she needs to let it happen.

Of course, there are times when a woman would just as soon forget the whole thing. When your partner says it is okay not to have an orgasm one in a while, she means it. If you really want to up her odds, invest in that magic wand, the vibrator.

STEP 6: THE CLIMAX

The most important thing to know about a woman’s orgasm during the middle of it, she’s faking. Here’s why: While climaxing. It is nearly impossible to exhale. The female orgasm is not an explosion of endorphins and genital juices. It is an implosion. She will draw her breath, tighten her muscles, suck every scarp of energy and sensation into the tiny nut core of her being and then give way exquisitely, to the flow of goodness spreading up her chest and down her legs. But a scream? Never.

STEP 7: THE AFTERGLOW

This may be where you find the most variation in style. Although what women experience physically after orgasm is the same across the board-the genitals return to their normal state, and breathing and heart rates slow too normal-emotionally and psychologically to two women are alike. Some feel huggy and affectionate; other want to talk about life; others just wonder what’s on HBO.

The best advice? Seal the emotional bond with a kiss, a compliment, a final squeeze. By the time you are in your postcoital snooze, she will still be happily awake, thinking of you as a man who really made a connection.