Twin Parenting – With Fairness But Not Equality
February 27, 2009
Parenting twin children sometimes poses a challenge to the parents. Though twin babies are almost identical to look at, but they do not act in the same way. Their tastes, attitudes, learning capacity, productivity and wellness also differ in varied manner. It has been noticed that twins develop jealousy for each-other and get angry at times at the thought of getting unfair treatment from parents.
As they can’t differentiate fairness from equality, they confuse with these two different concepts and feel ignored. For example, if a child observes that she is getting less time from her mother for a few days when her twin brother or sister, who is sick, receives more time. Parents should make the children understand the priority treatments they are doing are completely need based. A sick baby needs to be attended with much time and care than the baby who is in the pink of health.
Parents may be in fear of neglecting one child and sometimes feel guilty. Instead of doing so, they must think and behave logically and make the twins understand the same logic with patience, love and care. Normally, children understand if they are approached with reasoning and passion. They must be taught to differentiate between fair treatment and equal treatment.
Equality does not always work because bringing up children requires attention based on individual need which is a blend choice and chance. If one of the twins like ice-cream and the other has a taste for hot soup, they need to be served likewise. Parents have to clarify this difference to their children to avoid quarrel.
Regarding behavior, positive ones should be rewarded and negative ones must be treated differently. They need to be taught that everything can’t become equal for two different people. As soon as the twins get the clear idea and attain maturity, tasks of the parents become easier. Teaching them the importance of sharing is also equally important.
In this way, they become generous and kind-hearted. Their needs are to be taken much care of rather than putting much concentration on their wants. Parents must give them at least two choices so that they can select their preference and can understand the importance of fairness over equality. Such disciplinary steps really do good for them and the parents can also pave their way to a happy family.
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